The Senate voted on Saturday afternoon to confirm Brett M. Kavanaugh as a Supreme Court justice by the narrowest margin in more than a century. Later that day, Republican lawmakers celebrated raucously — on “Saturday Night Live,” at least.
“We could tell that people really wanted Kavanaugh,” Beck Bennett’s Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) told CNN anchor Dana Bash, played by Heidi Gardner. “Everyone is pumped, from white men over 60 to white men over 70.”
Montell Jordan’s “This Is How We Do It” blared in the background as Bash turned to other conservative members of the Senate, such as Cecily Strong’s Sen. Susan Collins (R-Maine). After Kate McKinnon’s Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.) praised Sen. Joe Manchin III (D-W.Va.) for having “scored in his own goal,” Collins addressed her own decision to vote in favor of Kavanaugh.
“The last thing I wanted was to make this about me — that’s why I told everyone to tune in at 3 p.m. so I could tell all my female supporters, ‘Psych!’ ” she said, referring to the real-life Collins’s lengthy Senate floor speech on Friday that caused the crash of a website that was set up to fund her future opponent, probably due to an influx of support. “Listen, I think it’s important to believe women until it’s time to stop.”
The fictional celebration, during which Gardner’s Bash observed that many pacemakers were “put to the test,” continued with Pete Davidson’s Sen. Jeff Flake (R-Ariz.), who was considered a swing vote alongside Collins, Manchin and Sen. Lisa Murkowski (R-Alaska), the last of whom voted against Kavanaugh.
“Obviously, I was really sad about the whole process,” Flake said before Graham smashed a pie in his face and exclaimed, “Seriously, this one is about the fans. They’ve been there for us all week, cheering and screaming outside of our offices. . . . I know they agree with us because they’re shouting out Me Too.”
After Aidy Bryant’s prosecutor Rachel Mitchell made a brief return to say that she hopes she made women proud, the network switched from the jubilant Republican senators to the “losing team,” represented by Alex Moffat’s Senate Minority Leader Charles E. Schumer (D-N.Y.).
“The Dems lost another one,” he said. “We thought this time would be better than the Anita Hill hearing because Dr. Ford was white, but turned out Brett Kavanaugh was white, too.”
The cold open drew to a close as Republicans sprayed Miller High Life, the “champagne of beers,” all over and Graham called Kavanaugh the “Natty Light of judges,” adding that he hoped we, as a country, “keep this horny male energy going ’til the midterms!”